[LRUG] Suggestion

[Aanand Prasad]

> I will admit that I did ask this question at least a couple of times, and I am truly sorry if that bothered or offended anyone.


I get it. I do.

Let me make an imperfect analogy. I'm slightly brown-skinned, the inevitable result of which is the frequent, age-old, much-lamented conversation with strangers along the lines of:

THEM: Where are you from?
ME: London.
THEM: No, like, I mean (where originally? | where are your parents from? | your heritage.)
ME: Well, my mum's from the Midlands...
THEM: *nods, maintains look of anticipation*
ME: ...and my dad's from India.
THEM: Ah!

This person means no harm. They're just making small talk. They may even be genuinely interested in my answer. But there's an issue here, glaringly obvious to people who get this question all the time, whether it's triggered by their skin colour, accent or grasp of English, and it's this: White people with British accents don't get asked it nearly as much. No attention is drawn to their ethnic origin, because it's "normal".

The effect, in aggregate, of having this conversation again and again is harmful far beyond the innocent intentions of any one person asking it: the othering of those who don't fit the norm. The question behind the question, as Hari Kondabolu puts it: "Hey. Why aren't you white?"[1]

This is a microaggression[2], undoubtedly, and it should be treated as one: largely unintentional, perhaps even well-intentioned, but nonetheless harmful and something we should be taking direct action to avoid. Because we *want* more people in our social spaces who don't fit the norm.

It takes a bit of extra effort to watch that we're not alienating people, but it's worth it.

[1]: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PAZTWRqaAwA
[2]: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Microaggression